Dear Dr. Ferber,
When Presley's pediatrician suggested that I get your book, Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems, I was a bit skeptical. Yes Presley had become a horrible sleeper, and at 6 months old she should be sleeping at least 8 hours between feedings, but I had heard not so nice things about your methods. See, your suggestions of letting the baby "cry it out" was not something I was willing to let my sweet baby girl do. First of all, I could not stand the sound of her cry, especially when I know what I can do to make her stop. Secondly, I did not want Presley's crying to wake up her big sister, Rebecca. So instead of letting Presley cry when she woke up three and four times a night, I would rush in her room and feed her. It did the trick. She would eat and go right back to sleep. No problem, right? Wrong.
Big sister also has some sleep issues which we will address at a later time, so most nights I was getting up about 4 or 5 times. Not much sleep for a mommy who LOVES her sleep.
At Presley's 6 month check-up my biggest concern was her sleeping. Why was she getting up so many times? The answer...it was all my fault. She would wake up, cry, I would feed her, she would go back to sleep. She would wake up, cry, I would feed her, she would go back to sleep. She would wake up, cry, I would feed her, she would go back to sleep. I taught her that she had to be nursed to be able to go to sleep. This pattern also carried over into her napping. She wouldn't nap unless I fed her first.
Dr. Knox assured me that Presley was not crying out in hunger every night. She was crying out for comfort. She was crying out because she did not know how to get herself to fall back asleep. He assured me that letting her "cry it out" was not going to hurt her in anyway.
I trust Dr. Knox, so as soon as we left the Dr. office, we went straight to the bookstore. During nap time I speed read the chapters that I thought would be the most beneficial. During dinner I explained the plan of action to Presley's daddy. I had to assure him of everything Dr. Knox had said. I thought he would argue with me and tell me that there was no way in h*ll that I was going to let Presley cry it out, but he didn't argue. He was more ready for me to get some sleep than I was. I think he was ready to have his nice wife back instead of the tired, grumpy wife that took her place.
So the plan of action was something like this:
1. We had to address the eating first, then we could work on the falling to sleep on her own.
2. The first night she had to go 4 hours between feedings. The second night she had to go 5 hours between feeding. Each night we would add an hour until we reached 8 hours.
3. If she did not make it the allotted amount of time between each feeding we were to let her cry for a few minutes. We could not go in until she was full out crying. When she was full out crying we would go in, comfort her without picking her up, and leave. Then after 5 minutes go back, comfort, and leave. After 10 minutes she is still crying, do the same. Then 20 minutes. If she is still crying after 20 minutes, continue going back every 20 minutes until she is asleep.
4. Stick to the plan. Do not waver. No matter how tired you are, DO NOT WAVER!!!
The first night she slept from 7:30 until 12:30. She made it 5 hours. That was huge! She went right back to sleep and woke up again at 3:30. I could not feed her until 4:30. I stuck to the plan. I did not waver, but as soon as my clock said 4:30, I scooped up my crying baby and fed her. She fell back asleep until 8:00. I survived my first night. Presley survived the first night.
All was good, until nap time. I refused to nurse her to sleep. I put her down awake and walked away. She screamed. She cried. I did whatever I could to stay busy. I stuck the the plan of going in every few minutes. After about 40 minutes, she slept. This occurred for every nap for a few days. Now she just cries for a minute or two if at all, then falls asleep. And she has been napping for 2-3 hours.
The second night of sleep training went better. She slept from 7:30 -1:30 then to 6:30. Yippee! The third night was not as good. The forth night was better. Then good. Then bad. Then bad. Then good. She has yet to go 8 hours without waking up, but she has been close.
I have a confession. I have wavered from the plan. I couldn't help it. Presley came down with a cold. I was worried that I needed to feed her more to flush the cold out. I was worried that her throat was sore and she needed a drink. I could not help but to take care of my sick baby. What's a mom to do?
Tonight I am going to jump back on the Ferber wagon. I am armed with a bottle of water to quench Presley's parched throat if she wakes up between feedings. My goal tonight is to make it 5 hours between each feeding. Tomorrow night we will try for 6.
It is getting better. She does fall asleep better on her own. Reading your book helped me to realize that we had more of a feeding problem than a sleeping problem.
We will get it, one day. Hopefully sooner rather than later. I am so sick of all my friends with babies tell me how their 3 month old sleeps 10 hours at night without waking up. I want to poke their eyeballs out.
In conclusion, Dr. Ferber, I just want to say that I am sorry that I ever doubted your methods. You were right, I was wrong.
Sincerely,
A tired mommy (but not as tired as I used to be)
Update: Presley slept from 7 to 3:30. That's 8.5 hours! Can I get an AMEN?
